91 years old and not pleased to be on BigD – Welcome to the club!

1-unsureJack added a comment a few weeks ago that is worth re-posting as a separate topic.  It’s a little twist on our most fundamental challenge.

I am a young 91 yr old man who has had systolic kidneys for over 30+ years. 4.5 +- creatinine level. last April (2015) my kidneys finally gave out and after a week in E.R. and another week in rehab. now on dialysis 3 times a week for 3 hours. My last check-up showed my creatinine at 5.9., a little improvement. (more…)

Dialysis, my boyfriend and me

Marli (not her real name) wrote recently:

Hello, my name is Marli. I am learning a lot from your blog so thank you so much for all that you are doing.

I am 19 years old and my boyfriend is 24.  We have been together about 8 months.  He was born with failed kidneys and it is a very touchy subject for him so I’m afraid to ask him about it.  (more…)

Dialysis Briefing 3. From Shock to Acceptance

Here is the third Briefing module.  As usual, it is not quite as I expected.  It was to cover two aspects: Physical, how you may feel before the session; during the session; after the session; when you get home, effect on sleep; and Emotional (Mental): dealing with the new reality; the grief cycle.

I received several very valuable emails and comments on both topics, but especially on the grief cycle.  As a result, each turned out to be bigger than expected.  So I decided to write one sheet on each topic, beginning with grief: coming to accept life on dialysis.

So here is Briefing 3. Dialysis – from Shock to Acceptance

Special thanks to Devon Texas and Carl from Winnipeg, Canada for their valuable input.


While researching the grief cycle, I found that there are several versions.  The 5-Stage cycle is the most popular, but I think the 7-Stage cycle is more appropriate for BigD-ers.  However, I found a wonderful summary of the 5-Stage cycle in Wikipedia from The Simpsons, which is well worth repeating:

Dr. Hibbard: Now, a little death anxiety is normal.  You can expect to go through five stages.  The first is denial.
  Homer: No way!  Because I'm not dying! [hugs Marge]
  Dr. H: The second is anger.
  Homer: Why you little! [steps towards Dr. H]
  Dr. H: After that comes fear.
  Homer: What's after fear?  What's after fear? [cringes]
  Dr. H: Bargaining.
  Homer: Doc, you gotta get me out of this!  I'll make it worth your while!
  Dr. H: Finally, acceptance.
  Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
  Dr. H: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.