Crowdsourcing Dialysis Poetry

Now for something completely different.

Just for fun, if you haven’t already seen it, have a look at this:

Dumb Ways to Die is a multi-award-winning public service announcement campaign by Metro Trains in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia to promote rail safety. The campaign went viral through sharing and social media starting in November 2012.  60 million hits and hundreds of parodies.

Isn’t it great?  Anyway, it prompted me to think about new ways to talk about BigD, and I decided I would write a limerick or two.  Mine are below.

Why not have a go?  I’m sure everyone would love to see a heap of limericks about BigD life, yours and mine (and anyone else, BigD-er or friend of a BigD-er).

I started with a hard-hitting view of life and death:

There was an old man on BigD
Who said this stuff ain’t for me
He cancelled his bed
Had a party instead
And we buried him last Tuesday at 3.

Then I thought I’d try to tell my story:

When the doc said I needed Dialysis
I had months of mental paralysis
When I felt my first needle
And saw my blood, I felt feeble
And demanded another urinalysis.

But now I appreciate BigD
And what it’s doing for me
It keeps me alive
And helps me to thrive
(As long as my meals are salt-free).

It took me a while to see
That my kidneys didn’t just stop making wee
Other jobs have gone wrong
Like making blood and bones strong
So I take activated vitamin d.

Now I bare my arm without dread
and insert my own needles instead
I go five times a week,
use the buttonhole technique
and the rest of my life is well led.

Over to you!

ps:  Just read this provocative New Yorker article about  using social media to help jump the queue to get a transplant organ.  Good or bad? I’m not sure if people are actually taking organs that would go to others or if they are getting organs that would not have been donated otherwise.  

3 thoughts on “Crowdsourcing Dialysis Poetry

  1. Donating a kidney is a must
    It will work well in another – we trust
    Cleansing their own blood can resume
    They can now ignore the dialysis tune
    So make sure this is loudly discussed

    Like

  2. A dialysis centre where Greg went
    Was a shiny and modern engagement
    He went five times a week
    It was so fun and unique
    That he bragged of his lifestyle heaven-sent

    Like

  3. Marg, the second one gets a nod..haha..

    Said the doctor to Greg, ‘there’s one left in you-
    a kidney all shriveled and cleft in you
    you can have it out if you wish
    see it placed in a dish
    And your body will not be bereft in you

    Said Greg to the doc, keep it in me
    I’m still attached to my tiny wee kidney
    dialysis yes,
    but it will be less
    while there’s a little kidney within me.

    Does a transplant appeal? asked the doc
    A new kidney from excellent stock
    a perfect red bean
    all fleshy and clean
    and one that will work round the clock.

    But Greg was reluctant and timid-y,
    As he weighed up ‘to keep or get riddi-ney’?.
    Then he decided,
    though he was chided
    that he wanted a new kidney, didn’t he?

    Like

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